A Fun Little Psychological Game

I'm going to try this fun game that sometimes works for me, whereby I pretend that my paper is due TOMORROW rather than on Friday. Like I said, sometimes it works, and I have time to edit and revise the finished product. Other times I end up staring at the screen for hours going "uhBUHHHH".

I guess it's worth a try - I don't really have any reading to do anymore except for review. And tomorrow is my later day, so I don't have to leave the house until ten. All signs point to yes.

I finally got around to changing my msn. I'm trying to slowly retire fizz_bubbles so if you're wondering why I'm not online... I probably am (at least right now and probably this evening as long as my tricky game goes according to plan!). You just have to add saramacdonald@gmail.com to your list. Do it!

OK back to the fun and happy research paper. I actually am really enjoying the process... just not so much the fear that it won't be a good paper hehe. Quite the daunting task.

I imagine I'll be back later tonight, or in the wee hours of the morning... whining...

[note: Stef - I was going to ask you how to add a gmail account to an msn passport, seeing as you're blogging in my blog, but I figured it out all by myself! Aren't you insanely proud of me?!!! Now I just need to figure out how to configure my router!]

Das Wetter ist nicht schon!

Brrrr! Ich bin sehr kalt! Das Wetter ist nicht schon!

I'm wearing the Christmas socks that I stole from John, so now I feel a little bit hypocritical, seeing as I've been wandering around pointing and saying "IT'S NOVEMBER" every time I see something Christmasey. But they're the longest socks I've got, so it really is a practicality rather than a fashion statement, I swear! It's cold!

I wonder how I would survive living in a place that's actually cold. Like Edmonton. I got into school there...

Walking from English to Biology, Sara sees a frosty pole and decides to lick it... mayhem ensues... think DUMB AND DUMBER.

Anyway. Stay warm kids. Stay warm.

I had a bit of a sleepless night. I was thinking too much is what the problem is. Stupid brain, doesn't know when it's sleepy time.

Hmmmm I find I'm so inspired by people sometimes. Then again, other times I'm disgusted by people. But right now I'm thankful for people who are smart and wise, and who like to share it, so that I can soak it up. Like in a parasitic relationship (eww... interesting choice of word).

Countdown to the LC show.... I'm a bit nervous, but I'm glad that a number of you are coming. You can slap me if I freak out. In fact, that will be your job :).

Ooooh super happy fun bus time. They've rotated the drivers so I haven't met this one yet. The former driver doesn't seem like he's ancient therefore he won't have enough "seniority" therefore he has probably been switched. Thus I'm assuming there WILL be a new one. I hope s/he is nice. The bus driver last night was NOT nice and it made me sad.

But I must leave you with this, because it's utterly ridiculous! It's the new weebl cartoon - better than those horrible, creepy Salad Fingers *SHUDDER*.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/47/

And just for fun, here's TWO, because Patrick Moore is silly and it's a silly kind of stolen-Christmas-sock day.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/20/

"Show me how pretty the world is... you're brilliant when you try"

I dug out my Matt Nathanson cd because for some reason I got him stuck in my head while I was at GW this morning. He's really very good, and I highly suggest that you check him out (http://www.mattnathanson.com/). Even better, http://www.archive.org/ has some amazing live sets. He tends to do his live sets with just his voice, his 12-string, and his cello player, Matt Fish. It's really beautiful. I would hazard a warning, however: if you are easily offended by the foul-mouthed and crude, DON'T get the live stuff, because he likes to talk about dirty things in between songs. I am not easily offended by that stuff, so I don't really care, but I wouldn't let Kell listen to the in-betweens.

Song currently playing - Pretty the World by Matt Nathanson

I picked my dad up from work this morning. He doesn't often ride in my car. I think it scares him. But I'm a good little driver, I promise. I got to see Larry (one of the crewbies), and I certainly don't envy him for having to work today. The warehouse is significantly colder than outside. And it's pretty cold outside.

My mom's company "Kids Christmas Party" is today, at three. Hmm.... it's 11:22 right now. I don't think we have to leave until 2 30, so technically I COULD have gone to the 11:15, but I didn't know this when I made plans to go to the 6pm. It's all good though. I'm going to be helping out with the wee ones. [Yeah right Sara. You just want to go so that you can be the best laser bowler ever. EVER. And the only way to do that is to play with a bunch of little kids.]

I'm looking forward to tonight because I get to see my Megs! We're going to go to the evening service. I really like the evening service; my only qualm (or spleen, if you will) is that no one really goes to it. I love the smaller group, as well as the laid-back feeling, but no one I know is ever there. I enjoy it though; it's a lovely change. So yeah, we're going to go to the evening service and then we're going to go see a certain movie (umm), and then I'm going to drive her back to her place in North Van cuz I haven't seen it yet. I figure it's about bloody time.

Plus car time with Megs always kind of rocks. We're both twisted. And we both like to sing. So it's either hilarious and twistedly good times or we just sing the whole way.

I didn't get my research paper written, but for a really good reason - can you believe I am now AHEAD in Biology? Crazy and unbelieveable and crazy. And maybe a little more crazy thrown in there for fun.

Yesterday at Save-On, "creepy keyboard man" was temporarily replaced by "not creepy but quite talented keyboard lady". It was definitely a treat.

Aaaaaand She Did It

Hmmm:

- School was fine; slept in but still caught the bus woo hoo
- Found a new philosopher that I really like named Derek Parfit; this led to
- An interesting philosophy discussion group (for a change); I think the TA was shocked by me
- Slept on the bus home (oops but yay)

OK now that we've got the preliminaries out of the way, here's what SHE DID (and this of course is what I did)...

So I was told about this concert at 10th Avenue Alliance in Vancouver and I wanted to go because it sounded like fun so I talked to Dean and he said we'd meet at Joe's house and to call him when I get downtown. Yeah, I know that those of you who know me well are already shaking your heads thinking, 'oh no, Sara's probably typing this from a bush in Langley, trying to find out where the hell she is'. But no. I made it downtown and I happily called Dean from W. Georgia, car intact, brain intact, and I get, "oh, sweetheart we aren't there anymore... we'll meet you at the church ok?" Ummmmmm ok (kinda grr, but only at the situation and the realization that I had been victorious for nothing hehe... it's like, I've just slain Grendel and I'm told that his Mom is still around and would I mind going after her too?). BUT another small victory is that I found 10th. You'd better believe that I, Sara J. Macdonald, managed to turn around in downtown Vancouver and find my way back to 10th. I was a little bit late and had to call Dean to get the address of the place but I still did it. And that was cool.

Dad calls what I have dysrexia. It's a knee-slapper because it's like dyslexia, only for the directionally-challenged. My mom and I both suffer from this "disability". I'm definitely a lot better than I used to be, but still, that's not really very good at all. Oh well. I did it. I'm alive. And there were no problems until later when someone suggested I take the Number 1 to get home (WHAT is THAT?!!!! I've heard of it, but no thank you!).

The concert was scrumtrillescent. It made my heart feel really good, if that makes any sense. Plus I always know that I'm into it when I might be singing off key and don't give a damn! Proz would NOT be impressed ;).

I'm very content right now, and I'm not sure why. I don't think it's because I have my computer on my lap and it's making my knee warm, though my computer IS sitting on my lap and making my knee warm.

Maybe it's because my eyes and ears aren't hurting right now. The last week or so has been kind of brutal in that my eyes have been aching and have been going all blurry... probably from all the late nights and early morning and staring at a computer screen typing papers at crazy times.... and my ears have always been ultra-sensitive, so when I get stressed, I tend to pick up everything and the world seems so obnoxiously loud. The good news is that the ringing isn't that bad these days. I thought for a while that I had tinnitus.

I wonder what I shall do tomorrow. I think I shall write my research paper or at least analyze my six articles.... if I can get the lovely Janet Giltrow to look over it, that would be ideal. I really like her. My presentation went very well I think. I kind of had this idea yesterday that synthesized my findings on the Sudan articles, and so I hurriedly changed my presentation before I went to class, and she seemed impressed with my "findings". She called them "interesting and exciting". How excellent. Actually, most of the presentations were really impressive and I was... impressed. Oh dear. I need a lexicon!

Maybe I'll go visit Breanne at A & B Sound tomorrow. I would like to work there as well. Heck, I would just like to work anywhere. I'm thrilled about getting Tuesdays and Thursdays off next semester. Must... find... job... Anyone wanna give me a job? I'm cheap!

OH! Speaking of jobs (Ha! You thought I was done! Fool!), Ashlee and I went to visit Nicki yesterday at Tomko. My dad wasn't there (though I didn't know this when we decided to go visiting), so we had a nice chat. She's great. I was horrified, however, when I went into the warehouse, and Chris (Mr. Mailbox) informed me that he and Jake (uh DUHHHHHH) and I'm presuming Trevor (that gnomey hooligan) had taken down the shoes that Meghan and I had so lovingly left!!! We risked our LIVES. It's not easy tying shoes to warehouse rafters, darnit. I'm going to have to get them fired. It will most likely go something like this:

S: Daaaaaaaaddddddyyyy, Jake, Chris and Trevor suck. You should fire them.

D (my dad's name is "Dad"): What did you just call me? If you ever use that word on me again, I'll street fight you.

Actually, I don't know that Dad is cool enough to use a term like "I'll street fight you", but you get the general picture. And somehow I think Jake, Chris, and Trevor will still be working there when I inherit the company and sell it to Jim at Pacific Ace for two bracelets and a broken tambourine. But not until I have a chance to go to one of those yearly Costco meetings and vent my spleen. Oh yes. Spleens will be vented. Did you know that spleen means, in addition to a silly little organ in the body, a "problem" aka a "beef"? I think that may have been one of the words of the day waaaaaay back when, but it's always good to be reminded of something this important.

Night night.

"Praise the Lord! Oh my soul. Praise the Lord."

OK.

Christmas already?

A month until Christmas and already it's everywhere - almost inescapable! My sister and her friend have decided they're going carolling, so they've been practicing since basically before Halloween, so it really has come very early this year, at least in the Macdonald house. She also put up her Christmas tree and decorated her room about two weeks ago. Such a keener.

Oh! Speaking of Christmas I have to get tickets for the One of Us thinger... usually it's very good. Not QUITE as good as the year that BREA AND I were in it, of course ;), but you know... maybe I'll buy them today so that those sneaky churchies don't get them all before me. The bus lets me off right there, so it's TERRIBLY convenient. Good times. Aww I love the busride home on Tuesdays and Thursdays because if I'm quick I can catch it at 12 50 and then it's DEAD so it's very roomy. And then I'm home by 2-30; and I've got all my school done and still a lot of the day is left! Ooooh I hope I can catch it today.... though with all these nasty little presentations we might go over. Hehe.

Is it just me or is that guy who plays the keyboard outside Save-On a little creepy? Seriously, he scares me quite a lot and I always kind of shudder when he's out there, which is basically all the time. Last night I heard the creepy music and he wasn't even THERE. He had a CD of his stuff playing I guess. Whew I thought. Then as I was walking down an aisle, there he was in all his creepy glory (or as the PPAC choir would say "KLORY". Must prepare myself for the show!), shopping. In his costume.

*shiver*

Remember When It Rained?

There's a little Josh Groban for this morning. It's a good song. Hmmm I haven't listened to him in a while.

Wow. It's really raining! I got soaked going from my house to the car to GW and back again. It really makes me NOT want to go to school.... but of course I will.

The good news is that it's not cold. Just wet. Very, very wet. I think maybe it's a day for my big red jacket, though we'll have to see.

My car has really good windshield wipers. I went crazy and paid the extra four bucks for some skookum wipers and it's definitely been worth it. Being able to see while driving is fun!

I'm still in shock about my room. Every time I come in, I'm prepared for the worst and then it's "OH SIGH! OH IT'S CLEAN." It's like I don't have a purpose in life anymore ;).

My dad was at Costco in the States this weekend and bought this stuff called ZipFizz. Oh my goodness. They're these little vials of powder and you mix them with 16-20 oz. of water and they make you CRAZY. I had one yesterday before I went to GW and within 2 minutes, it was as though I'd had a couple cups of strong coffee. Hmm.... what's in them? Active ingredients: L-Arginine, Caffeine from guarana seed, L-Taurine, Alpha-Lipoic Acid, Grape Seed extract, Green Tea Leaf extract, American Ginseng Root extract, Ginger root. Hmm... ok so maybe THAT'S why they make me crazy.

I like the new Destiny's Child song. I haven't really been a fan of theirs, nor of Beyonce's but I do like that song... whatever it's called.

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving. So that means all those crazy Yankees will be... acting all crazy and Yankee-ish.

Oooh I also really like Kelly Clarkson's new song, Breakaway. I can't find anywhere online that has it on sale though, which makes me sad. Apparently, as I've heard through the grapevine, Avril Lavigne wrote it. Interesting!

I've been reading up on the endocrine system and it's really fascinating. My pink highlighter has basically run out, so I've resorted to orange (only Stabilo brand highlighters, thank you very much), but yeah. Lots of orange going on. The endocrine system is hormone-related. It's incredible to see how complex our bodies are. Quite brilliant actually. If we only knew all the stuff we get done each day!!

My mom got me a Spongebob pirate with Spongebob sweet tarts in it. I haven't opened him yet. But he DOES make me want to say "Yarrrrrr" all the time. Does Spongebob have a cult following? Like iPods? Does that mean I'm cultish? It's funny because Kelly and I stumbled upon Spongebob when he was first on Nickelodeon, on a rainy day down at the trailer. We had no idea what he was. And then a year later EVERYONE is talking about Spongebob. Yep. That's right. We're trendsetters, Kell and I.

Roxy is sick.... she hasn't her normal energy. I had to drag her out of the house last night so she could go to the bathroom and she went right back in. So I had to carry her and place her in the grass. How dramatic. Maybe she isn't sick at all, and just realizes that she has us all whipped. Through my mom she can get us to do anything ;).

My media presentation is tomorrow. I drew number 6 which means I'm on the first day which means that I don't have to be finished - we're supposed to talk about wherever we are in our research. So far I am having a LOT of trouble gathering a corpus. There's LOTS on the Sudan, and very little on the homeless in Vancouver. Somehow I thought there would be more. I guess that's a point of interest in and of itself. I'm looking at marginalization in the media, and hopefully I will be pleasantly surprised with what I find.

I realized something sick today [Note: apparently "sick" is now slang for "cool" but I mean it as "sad / wrong" just so you know ;)]... I haven't seen Kiri since Zahida's birthday party. Not cool at all. But she's one of those crazy Yankees with her crazy Yankee Thanksgiving, so no go for doing something tomorrow. We'll have to make it soon though, dangnabbit. What a word. Or non-word I guess.

OK. That's quite enough from me for now.

Have a good day.

LA DEE DA

Hmmm.... I'm kind of bored.

There have been a lot of visits to the ramblings in the last week. Over a hundred... bizarro. Of course, many of those can be attributed to the same people, but I'm surprised that anyone comes here at all. I just like writing stuff and I'd probably still write if no one came here.

My friend Celine is doing her media project on weblogs and how some of them take a political stance. I was thinking, well what the heck does my blog do? I've notice that it's different than most that I've come across. Most have some specific theme: they chronicle a journey, or take a view or stand against/for something. Mine does neither, which is fine. But it's more just a bunch of things that have been thrown together most of the time! So what is it? It surely isn't a journal, or at least not what I would consider a journal. In some ways maybe it has a performative element to it because I get to pick and choose what goes up. Unless I'm really excited then I type first and read later ;). Hm hm hm hm hm. Some of my posts are supposed to be thought-provoking, or inspiring, and some are just for the entertainment of you - and me. And of course there are those of you who live far away from me and use this as a means by which to stay current. Come to think of it, though, it's a bit of a skewed picture! I guess it's a little glimpse into what's important to me at a given moment (and sometimes what's important is a laugh). Odd stuff sometimes...

I think I'm eccentric. Or dramatic. Or just really passionate. Or easily amused / excitable. I wonder sometimes if people think I'm weird. But what constitutes "weird" these days, anyway? And I don't really care.

Maybe I should tell a story. Who knows what will come of this?!

Shhhhhhh..... this is the part where Sara shares a bit about what she's been learning lately.

This last year has been kinda nuts. I started UBC last September, finally ok with the reality that Trinity wasn't going to be happening. Looking back, I think that I was prepared to use TWU as a spiritual crutch if that makes sense, so that I could be spiritually "fulfilled" without doing a lot of work. I figured, heck, surround myself with Christians and I've got it made. It's true that Christian community is a beautiful thing, but I don't know that I had factored everything into the equation. Like paying attention to the changes that God wants to make in my life and stuff. And the growth that I needed to do through prayer and... well, some weirdo times.

So anyway, I was at UBC, ready to make a name for myself. With 40,000 students, the fact is that you're a number until you make a name for yourself. And even then you're a number in a lot of ways [note: my number is 8-digits]. I signed up for some clubs and I was the biggest keener when it came to signing up for all these email lists and taking flyers and it was great. UBC is really a neat place. I truly mean that.

Come October, life was in full swing. Friends who'd moved away were having a blast as well, and though I was spending a lot of time commuting, I still found the idea of traveling through Vancouver to be novel and exciting. I even had a bus pass. Whoa, was I lame. The Thursday before Thanksgiving, I spoke with a friend on the phone. She was about to go out to the bar at her school and I told her to be safe and have fun. Hmm. Fast forward to Saturday. Many frantic phone calls / emails had gone unanswered and everyone was talking to me but no one was saying anything. I finally spoke with her, and she told me that she had been raped in her dorm room that night. What the hell. It was unbelievable. I didn't, in fact, believe it for a long time - denial is a fantastic place to sit and steep for unhealthy amounts of time. I was able to look to God, to see that He had a plan and that He was in control. I sought comfort in prayer, and tried to convey that to her as well.

I've always been "the listener" in my social circles it seems. Oh I can talk, and believe me, I do. I find, however, that I'm often the person that my friends will come to when they need advice, or support. I think it's a beautiful thing, and I am so flattered that people would consider me and my advice, or just my ear. Long story short, I soon found myself giving up on UBC except for the academic aspect of it (and even that was questionable at times - thank goodness for understanding instructors), overwrought and overloaded with what had been going on. I found myself giving and giving and giving to this friend of mine, not because she was necessarily asking for it, but because I thought that I could somehow fix what was going on by running myself ragged and thinking and worrying constantly. By Christmas, I was a bit of a basketcase. My Bible study group had known me for about three weeks before I went from being fairly normal to an emotional wreck.

By February my friend was doing so much better and it was amazing to watch her recover, despite a few scary backsteps. Then in March, it happened again. Can you believe it? I remember exactly when and where I was when I found out. I was at Young Adults, on March 22 (I only remember because it was the day before my birthday). Have you ever been in a situation where you are so upset that you don't care that everyone is watching you lose it and bawl your eyes out? That was my first time. This time I was angry with God and I couldn't comprehend how something like this could happen twice... it's disgusting. Then another friend was murdered by her father. Etc. etc. etc. It seemed like I was fine but everyone around me was going through so much. And I wasn't really fine. I was drained and tired and a shell, trying to avoid talking to people at school so that I could just get on the bus and go home.

Not to say the year was miserable. Because it wasn't. I have a good life.

OK, so why am I talking about all of this? Well, I came to learn so much. A week before the second incident, God had answered a prayer of mine in a very obvious way... and the thing is, it wasn't an important prayer by any means. It was silly, and almost an afterthought before I went to church that morning. In the midst of my anger, I found this paper in my pocket. Conveniently, I'd written down this answer to prayer "just in case" I needed to be remind that God does listen and that He is in control. He was still in control. I stopped being angry, at least with God ;).

What else did I learn? A concerned friend basically said to me, "you know Sara, as much as you love her, if she's going to fall, she'll fall whether you're investing every ounce of yourself into her or investing a healthy amount of yourself into her". It was incredible advice. I have come to see that I can't control everything. I can't control the lives of my friends. Heck, I'm not even in control of my own life and that's the way that it's supposed to be. I can't always make things better. But you know what? It's not about what "I" can do all the time. It's about what God can do, and what Jesus can do THROUGH me. "Let go and let God." It's a cliche for a reason.

So I stopped running myself down and stressing constantly, trying to fix things for this friend, 24/7. And she continued to slowly get better. And she still felt like I was there for her. Go figure.

Bringing to my attention the control issue was something that God weaved into my life in a number of ways last year, but that was probably the bigee. Realistically, how do you put an experience like that, that took place over a year, in a few short paragraphs? Not exactly possible, but that was one part of it, and one thing that I learned.

Something else that God's shown me this year has changed me a lot, and is continuing to change me... I wish that everyone would come to the same realization, albeit much earlier than I learned it. Hmmm... how do I go about describing this? It's basically something that's been on my mind since I was able to USE my mind in any sort of rational way. OK, maybe nutshell version is better for now.

About six or so months ago, I had this realization. Because of Jesus, I am beautiful. And that's not an opinion. It's a statement of fact. So if God says it, why should I care what other people say I am? I am the way that I'm supposed to be because God has created me beautiful for His purposes and according to His plan. I have the Holy Spirit. I can use the talents that God has blessed me with to bless other people. It's so weird. Growing up in a society where you have to be a certain kind of person (and maybe not being that kind of person) is really tough. It's an inwardly-focused society that looks at self-improvement, self-help, self-this, self-that. And one day, God decided to turn that on its head in my heart and show me that I have worth in Christ. I had been a Christian for a few years at this point. And He STILL had to tell me. Meh. The Christian life isn't a perfect one by any means ;). So God had, in one revelation, settled something for me that I had been struggling with for most of my life. I hope and pray that everyone might come to see their worth. I see my 13-year-old sister going through a lot of things that look very familiar to me, and I want to be able to show her. But I don't know if it's something that I can show her, unless God wants to use me for that.

I've been toying with this idea for a few weeks now, and it still seems a bit weird to me: I think I like myself. The real me. The me that I'm supposed to be. Isn't that cool??? It's not even so much based on confidence in myself, but confidence that God has made me exactly the way that He intended. I've been designed well and with a purpose.

What's been the result of this? Well, in my own experience, knowing that I don't have to worry about being accepted by God (that one can be checked off), I am finally able to turn some of the focus off myself. And it's about bloody time. I'm slow to learn that it's not all about me, but God is patient and He "sufferith long" (oh yes, I've been paying attention at church!), waiting for us to stop screwing up and letting us come back time and time again to ask for forgiveness.

Wow. What an amazing God.

So if I've been designed well, then I shouldn't try to hide. I should rejoice in who I am, especially who I am in Jesus. Again, deep in my psyche (or whatever it's called) was always this fear that because I'm not the way that society dictates that I should be, that I'm somehow wrong. I don't know that I'm necesarily shy (I don't know if I'm introverted or extroverted... can you be both? I seem to be happy being both) but I would say that a certain shyness has been created in me because I believed for a long time that there was something not right about me. It's insane, I know, but I also know that SO many people are scared to be themselves. For me, that amounted to me not taking many risks, and just observing. It was terrifying to step out of the comfort zone (and sometimes it still really really is!) but I force myself now. Because my illusions about who I thought I was are being shattered and rebuilt.

I think that there is a certain responsibility to being who we are. We owe it to God and to ourselves to be real. Not to say that I want to run up to a stranger, introduce myself, and lay everything that's ever happened to me out for them. Not at all. But I don't like wearing a mask. If there's one thing that I pray for my own growth in the next while, it's that I will be able to embrace the real me, and not hide who that person is. True, she's a weirdo, and she still wants people to like her.... but the real me might not be so bad afterall hehe.

I don't feel like I need a crutch anymore.

I suppose we're all a work in progress. Undoing a lot of bad teaching takes time. But. Isn't it amazing that God is willing to invest SO MUCH into each one of us? I find it so incredible. The Creator and Ruler of the ENTIRE UNIVERSE loves each one of us so much that He sent Jesus.... He designed each one of us and gave us each our own gifts... He answers prayer... He LOVES US. If being loved by the Most High doesn't make you beautiful, then... no. Forget it. There is no IF. He loves us and we're all beautiful.

God just... rocks my world. Both in the "Dude, you rock" sense and the shaky and rocky cliff sense.

Darcy talked about dreams last night. One of my dreams is that people would realize their beauty and their worth and that we would stop looking down on ourselves. Then they can go out and spread some truth and love. I don't know if it's my THE dream (if that makes sense), but it is one of them. Because it's joyful, and it's almost a kind of freedom as well - one gives up control to God and accepts that they're beautiful and that's just the way that it is.

So, remember at the beginning when I said that sometimes I get excited and write first, read later? Yeah.... I'm going to go out on a limb here and be... real. I'm going to publish this with a click of the button and see what happens. Maybe I'll chicken out and take it down once I've realized what I've done. I am, afterall, forever a work in progress. But this is a bit of my life. Some stuff that is important to me. At least right now ;). At this particular moment. This very second. In 3 minutes things may have changed completely!!! What have I done? Ha. *Laughs nervously*

STEF

Ha. How do you like THAT, Stef? You're now a TITLE. And I'll also remind you that you're the subject of one of my very first rambling. Why? Because you're precious. [Sidenote: 23 isn't too old. In my opinion your cut off should be about 26. It's great that he's "mancandy" (I watched Mean Girls this weekend), but make sure that he's intellectually stimulating too, ok? Cuz I think you'll get bored of an idiot, regardless of his hotness, fairly quickly. If he can make you laugh and / or is musical, good sign. And that's Auntie Sara's advice for the day.]

This is what you get for wanting to be mentioned in a blog. You're front and centre for all the world to see (and by all the world I mean not that many people).

Moving on.

I got my other English paper back today (220) and despite working about a million times harder on it than the last Brit Lit paper, I only got 1 percent higher. I was kind of choked, but it's ok. It's really ok. You know how sometimes people will say to you, "Oh don't worry about it. It's not the grade, it's what you've learned" or something to that effect? I think I'm kind of starting to believe it. The class itself is amazing. I've heard from a lot of people that this woman is a particularly hard marker, and so... I figure as long as I'm getting constructive feedback that will help me, I can deal with a 72. I'd prefer that it were higher, of course, but I dunno... it was so silly. Right after my classes today I got on the bus and got off at Broadway and Granville, and then had this encounter (something about dreams and not letting fear hold you back. Little dream, lotsa fear. Survived. Good times) and afterwards I was laughing at my own stupidity in the situation and realized... yeah, this part of life, growing as a person and developing character, is way more important than a mark on a paper. And maybe that mark on a paper is irrelevant when you look at what I'm taking with me from the course. Maybe because of taking English 220 on Tuesday mornings with this particular instructor, I've been stimulated in a way that will help me to intellectually explore or question something that will consequently have an effect on the person that I become.

Maybe I'm just trying not to whine or be disappointed. But I think I'm really ok with it. Haha. Go figure.

You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.

I cleaned my room. For those of you who are wisely skeptical and don't believe me, or have never seen my room clean, here we have the before:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/fizz_bubbles/album?.dir=bc5c&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/fizz_bubbles/my_photos

and the after:

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/fizz_bubbles/album?.dir=ecd0&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/fizz_bubbles/my_photos

Yeah...

Sooooo I went to see Spongebob on Friday night, with le Brea. It was so hilarious. I laughed harder than I have in a very long time - the two of us definitely enjoyed it more than any of the teeny boppers who shared the theatre with us. There weren't any children because it was late at night, but that's probably for the best. It would have just increased the embarrassment. Screw that. I'm not embarrassed. It was terrific. And I would see it again so NYAH!!! Ridiculously funny - you can't help but laugh. No substance, of course, but that's ok when tears of laughter are pouring down your face.

My parents were gone for the weekend... that was... good. I got a lot done; did lots of bio, worried about the papers that I handed in (because, you know, worrying makes things better), and then Megs came over on Saturday night and we had a ridiculously good time. Went for breakfast on Sunday and then to church. Awesome - Jon is on fire these days. I like that there is a variety at PPAC.

The Lions lost. It was sad. I'm glad I opted to not watch the game in favor of doing other stuff, cuz I tend to become very involved in that kind of thing. It would have been detrimental to my health.

I went to visit Reeg last night for a few minutes, just to make sure she's keeping sane. She as well has had a bunch of shiza due lately, and has been freaking out a lil bit. I'm glad she came out to see Spongebob though; it was good for her.

Ashlee and I met up and did some studying. Misery loves company. The part that makes me miserable is that when I actually read my bio, it makes sense to me. So I wonder what I would be able to accomplish if I applied myself? Rather, if I had started to apply myself earlier. It's a two-semester survey, though, so I'll be able to really catch up over the Christmas break.

Hmmm what else did I do...? Had a nice chat with Zahida on Saturday, hung out with Kell, did some more homework. I went for a few nice walks with Smeagol, which was really nice. Fresh, crisp air. Mmm. No no: Mmmmmmm Mm Mm Mm Mmmmmm. Slap me for that one please. Stef, have you still got that cat poison? I should have myself put down.

Philosophy didn't make me want to dig an escape hole through the floor today, which was a pleasant surprise. They're starting to talk about stuff that I care about. I've realized that whilst I'm not completely inept, I prefer 20th and 21st Century philosophical theories better than the old stuff. I have also realized that I don't really like the word "whilst" and I should stop using it.

I got my Gilgamesh paper back, and the world will not in fact be ending. I did really well, actually. I don't know if it's an ego thing, but I've been so worried lately that I can't possibly want to teach English to people because I can't even speak it or use it for communicative purposes. I am encouraged by this that maybe I wasn't wrong to want to major in English. It's not that I haven't been enjoying it; rather I'm just concerned that you should not only enjoy it but also be able to understand it and write about it in order to seriously study it in higher level courses, and ultimately teach it. Maybe I'm not a bad writer afterall. Now I just have to work on my verbal eloquence, or lack thereof these days ;). UhhBUHHHHHH.

So that's half the sigh of relief... the inhaling part of the sigh. Tomorrow when I get my other term paper back, we'll see if I can exhale.

I really like the song by Projet Orange - Tell All Your Friends.

My hair right now is spectacular. It's like... Bon Jovi pre-1990s. Yep. That's some big hair. When I was little and essentially had an afro, my mom used to call me the little bushwoman. It terrified me... because I thought the bushwoman was the girl on the raisin box. And she was creepy. I'll have to try to tame the hair, even though it pretty much does what it wants regardless. I need a haircut; I'm such a punk. But I'm a CHEAP punk, and haircuts are expensive, especially when you have a lot of Bon Jovi-esque hair.

Meh.

I'm looking forward to YA tonight. The speaker was good last time and he's back again. He was talking about names... and it caused me to break into thought about a bunch of stuff... and then at CG the following week I had an interesting encounter that has spurned still more thought. Tougher, more provocative thought, but it's been revealing and I'm coming to realize a few important things. At least, they're important to me. So needless to say I'm interested to hear what Darcy has to say this evening.

Aww. Those of you who responded to my Friday-morning greeting are sweeties. Made me smile some more :). (Stef I haven't forgotten about your LC video... haven't been to Tomko yet.)

I'm going to have some Jello.

Hello...

Good morning :)

A Cup of Tea

OK I've done some work on my timetable and now I have Tuesday and Thursday off next term. That means I can get a job... hopefully I can find an odd job that needs someone for decent hours on those two days and then some evenings / Saturdays I guess.

I feel better about all this.

CSI and then Timmy's for tea! (aka a change in atmosphere!) Thursdays are good because they're almost Friday.

A Passion Deep Within My Soul

Grey Cup on Sunday woot. (I'm psyched, but that's not the passion deep within my soul that was alluded to in the title).

I've had this song in my head for a few days.

Filled With Your Glory - Starfield

In my heart, in my heart, there's a fire burning
A passion deep within my soul
Not slowing down, not growing cold
An unquenchable flame that keeps burning brighter
A love that's blazing like the sun
For who You are and what You've done

And as the fire is raging on
So Your praise becomes my song

The whole earth is filled with Your glory, Lord
Angels and men adore
Creation longs for what's in store
May You be honoured and glorified
Exalted and lifted high
Here at Your feet I lay my life

From the ends of the earth to the heights of Heaven
Your glory, Lord, is far and wide
Through history You reign on high
From the depths of the sea to the mountain's summit
Your power, Lord, it knows no bounds
A higher love can not be found

So let the universe proclaim
Your great power, and Your great name

The whole earth is filled with Your glory, Lord,
Mountains bow and oceans roar
Creation longs for what's in store
May You be honoured and glorified
Exalted and lifted high
Here at Your feet I lay my life.

It's interesting to read over lyrics sometimes. We so often sing along to our favorite songs, not even realizing what it is that we're saying. It's not just in worship, but in life in general. It took me a while before I stopped and recognized that the one and only Nelly song I've ever liked is about how great it is to do drugs. It's kinda fun to halt and reflect, and to question whether the words that I'm singing along to are words that I truly mean (or at least want to make a reality in my life).

Gets you thinking. Like this:

Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm...

*Lets clap out that rhythm! How do you notate stuff in a blog???? Meh. Make up your own rhythm on three! ONE TWO THREE: hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm. No mine was more like Hmmmmmmmmmm hm hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmm.*

The weather today is fantastic. I love getting blown around once in a while!

I don't know how....

I went to sleep in the wee hours and woke up in the ... wee hours of the morning to finish my final revisions on this paper (IT'S DONE. IT'S DONE.); thus I am tired. The logical answer of a university student is javajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajavajava. Then it occured to me that I don't know how to make coffee. It's probably a good thing, because it prevents me from making it and going crazy all the time, but still. It's kind of pathetic, yeah?

So now I'm trying to decide if I just want to make a really, really potent cup of tea, or if I should just buy some coffee on the way to the bus stop. I'm leaning slightly towards the latter option, cuz it'll help to warm me up while I'm oustide. Plus, this bus driver is a sweetie.

December 3 - Lotus Child @ The Grad Centre (UBC Campus) / 10 bucks / 7 pm / comment: good times and all ages *all the proceeds from this event go to aid for Uganda*

December 4 - STABILO @ Richards / 12 bucks plus sc / 7 pm / comment: shriek & please come it'll be fun!

If anyone is interested, I can hook you up with the LC tickets (I may even have one free ticket, because they sent me one but I don't need it...), and I'm gonna buy the Stabilo tickets next week probably if you wanna get in on that action.

OK Now It's Later

OK now it's later and I'm home from my sound course. Got another 50-pager to add to the collection. I can't have a dorky sound duotang anymore. Now it's a dorky sound binder.

Today is Dad's birthday. He's old. 47 to be exact. Old. The fact that he couldn't remember how old he was is an indication of his oldness. Actually he's not that old, I'm just mean.

Soooo..... uhhhhmmm..... who uh... who wants to see the Spongebob movie with me?

Sara. Is. So. Lame.

WOW!

Hopefully it's still pouring when you read this command: LOOK OUT THE WINDOW! I'm in the basement of Koerner soaking wet, lamenting my lack of waterproof shoes. It's a wet one out there! There's something so beautiful about rain... not when I'm trudging around in muck, of course, but when I'm inside and it's bouncing off the roof and windows and skylights, it's neat.

I am NOT leaving this seat until I have a conclusion written. Harumph.

"With Floods and Whirlwinds of tempestous fire..."

Ooooh those be passionate words! I just finished reading the first book of Paradise Lost... outloud. I find that with really.... wordy texts, it's best for me to sit and mutter to myself like a crazyperson so that I will a)pay attention and b)hopefully understand a bit more. Now that I've finished, I feel all excited. Not all excited as in "yay Milton let's read more", but excited as in.... jumpy, I guess. A substitute once read the first book to us while I was in high school, standing the entire time on a desk. I tried to emulate his deep, tempestous voice whilst reading to myself just now... but alas, I am not a man.

This John Milton is an interesting fokel. Lately I've found it more fascinating to learn about the author and the time in which s/he wrote than the work itself.

I may just have to read the rest of Paradise Lost at some point, for I think we're only doing the first book in class. Talk about your "light" reading. I think I have enough of THAT on my plate right now... Last week, the instructor of my sound course chucked like 60 pages of paper at me: he'd printed off the entire manual for the board at church. Umm. Yeah that'll have to wait a while too ;). It was nice of him though. Oooh! Tomorrow's Tuesday! That means I get to go Long & McQuade and destroy stuff I mean experiment. The last class is at the store rather than the classroom. Woot.

Ho hum. I get to learn how to ski over the Christmas break. Yippee! I'm really looking forward to it. I've only been once (gr. 11) and I LOOOOOOOOOOVED ITTTTTTTTTTTT. My dad found some sort of "mega deal" so he was all excited (as in yay, not as in jumpy... though being a tight-fisted Scotsman, he was probably jumpy at the idea of saving money too!!!) this morning and woke me up to see if I was interested. This one time that I went, things were great, and I got to go on one of those green runs (for people who can't ski well, ie me) and I had a little encounter with some snow near the bottom. I still remember the instructor's reaction: "SARA! That is one of the coolest bails I have EVER SEEN. Are you ok?" The best part about falling everywhere in the snow is that, as long as the snow isn't covering jagged rocks, bodies, or trees, it doesn't hurt! And then there's my Uncle Mike, who slammed his pelvis into four separate pieces up at Lake Tahoe.

Now my DAD.... he's going to be skiing as well and it's a bit concerning. I wonder if he remembers the time the ladder fell out while he was on it in the warehouse and his foot literally snapped off (and was hanging on by skin - EWW)? Or when they subsequently had to reattach it using titanium rods? So now he can't really move it very well and I think it's going to be a painful experience for him. And people wonder why I am an advocate of ladder safety. I shouldn't even get started on what Anthony was doing on that bloody ladder on Wednesday.

I'm going to see if Megs wants to go to Cypress or something like that with me beforehand so she can show me a few pointers. She has her certification but hates teaching because she hates people and has no patience. Her words, not mine. But regardless of her hatred / lack of patience, she's said she can put up with it for me. Because I'm "special". Indeed.

Well. Well, well. This post certainly adheres to the premise of my blog as a whole. RAMBLINGS. Nonsensical, sensical, quasi-sensical, made-up-words-ensical. These are is Sara's ramblings, in their crudest, fall-out-of-my-brain, form. Should there be a comma there? Hmm.

On that note, back to the good old Epic of Gilgamesh. I love Gilgamesh! He's such an idiot.

- Sara

"Clarity"

Yeah, it's also a song by John Mayer, but that's not what I'm referring to. My head has cleared and I've been provided with some perspective. So 5 o'clock just rolled around: time to pray for the team that's in Uganda / Kenya. I threw my hands up in exasperation and got a response. What a juxtaposition to the whining I've been doing for the last... hour. I was reminded of how incredibly blessed I am.... I think it's ok to be frustrated sometimes... but lets take a look at my situation:

- I am at a great university and have great profs
- I am being pushed academically to work hard which will help me to grow intellectually
- I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, or about where to find water
- I'm free to worship God and be as loud and proud about it as I want
- My immediate family is healthy and under the same roof as me

The list could really go on and on, but I'm kind of inspired to get back to work. My life is by no means perfect. But what started off as a prayer for the team became a kick in the butt from God; a reminder that I can handle it. Especially if I just trust.

Bleh, Blech, and Other Such Words

My frustration levels are skyrocketing right now and it's pissing me off. I don't understand how I can work so bloody hard all the time and not get things done - what the clap am I doing wrong? I worked until 2 this morning and then started again at 10 30 this morning. Now it's nearly 4 30 and I STILL don't have these papers written. I haven't been sitting here doing nothing. Everything just takes so much bloody time. Especially since I got a B on my English 220 paper. Now I'm paranoid. If I get a B on this next one, I will cry. Angry, self-pitying tears. As per usual.

And the paper for English 230 is worth 75%... I don't get it... I don't understand how one piece of work can be worth so much. Life isn't just one shot. What about the people who have great ideas but can't write? I'm kind of the opposite... I can usually make up for the fact that I don't quite get something by writing well. But I dunno. I just don't know.

I want to have some fun. I really need to get out of the bloody house, but there isn't time for anything. I'm taking a break right now simply because if I don't I may very well snap the monitor off my laptop. And that = not good. I just need to calm down. Studying is a privilege. Oh yah. I can say that. Still doesn't make me want to write these stupid papers.

My philosophy TA gave me a C+ on my last paper - truly a gift. I deserved an F. It was the old "well I've written three papers in the last 2 days and have a midterm this morning... guess I should whip off that Philosophy paper since it's due in three hours... shoot, haven't read any of the article." That's another problem - I don't feel like I'm ever NOT doing schoolwork these days - how the crunk am I not getting everything read? Grr. OK... must... change... subject.

I'm still enjoying English 229. My research proposal got approved and I did really well on my paper for that class. Poses another problem, though, because now I'm wondering, should I do the lit strain or the language strain for my major? Do I even want to major in English? I sure can't articulate anything very well these days (I seriously am starting to feel stupid whenever I try to say something half serious... it's getting bad!)... heck, do I even want to be in school right now? Answer: NO. I love learning and I love pushing myself, but I just need a break.

Thank goodness for Christmas break. Of course we're all going to be at Whistler (and by "we" I mean everyone my mom and dad have ever met, ever), so I'm going to be banished to a pullout in the living room. Maybe I'll just stay home and have the house to myself. That would be lovely. OK, but side tangent.

I need the break... I've been going nonstop since.... last Christmas break hehehe. This year I'm going to tell my dad that I'm not done my exams until the end of April, regardless of when I finish. Oooh good times. I know, though, that if I DO take a break from school, I'll never go back... and I don't want that lurking over my shoulders. I want to do my time and get out... or at least get an undergraduate degree so that I can say "ok I've actually accomplished something". Then do another one at a less frenetic pace. Meh.

I wish my family would just leave me alone for a few days. Doesn't that sound mean? Well I'm a mean person, so whatever. They're so bloody loud!!! Especially when Kelly has friends over = all the time. I hear that she might be going to Kaleena's house tonight. That would be beautiful. My Mom and Dad have left for a few hours to go to the Kraut fest at my mom's cousins'. Basically it's a bunch of Germans / Austrians being loud and drinking and making Sauerkraut. Hopefully they stay there for a long time. Quiet house = yay. I really hope that this negative bubbles is just temporary and I'm not turning into a horrible person. What I need to do is find a quiet place with a desk where I can do homework that isn't the library at UBC because it's too far to go there just to study. Too bad White Rock shuts down at like... 3 in the afternoon. Starbuck's and Tim Horton's are options, but you have to buy crap. And I don't have a job. Because I don't have time. Because I have school. If I stopped doing church stuff I could have a job. But I would never ever give that up. It keeps me sane. Well... I wouldn't go so far as to say that it keeps me sane, because there is really no helping that, but it makes me happy and calms me down. And helps me to refocus and realize that life isn't all about ME all the time.

Hey, come to think of it, I get to go there tomorrow. Good. And I got to go there on Wednesday and see them fix the speaker. They're so nice to me. They answer all my questions and let me poke around. Chris took me on an extended tour and explained tonnes of stuff. I'm not sure I retained all of it (well I'm certain I didn't!) but I picked up a lot of stuff, fused a few more connections in the good old brain. It was very nice of him, and a reward for me cloistering myself up and doing work for days :D.

Alright. Rant complete. The good old journal (aptly called "Peaceful Reflections") will get a much more expletive-laden, angry version. But I needed that. Very badly. Now I'm going to go attack the printer again to try to force it to work. If it doesn't work I may be back here, freaking out a bit more.

Sara.

I'm So Proud of My Little Man!!!

I took Bubba for his AirCare test this morning and he passed with flying colours! Not only did he pass, he was above average in all his tests. That's m'boy *sniff sniff*.

OK bus time.

:)

Oma!

It's been two years since Oma passed away, but that's not why I'm writing. Despite missing her tonnes and TONNES, I am absolutely at peace with God bringing her back home. What I wanted to share was something that I find so inspiring.

At Tante Meta's funeral, my mom heard something that we hadn't known before. Almost 35 years ago, Meta, Oma, and two other close friends made a pact with each other that they weren't going to talk bad about other people. And they did it. They really did. Because one thing I notice about both my Oma and her best friend is that they didn't have anything bad to say about anyone. Not to say that people didn't annoy them, but they were never ones to talk down about a person. Ever. I bet that it had an effect on their thought process too... after a while they probably stopped thinking as many bad thoughts about people.

I just think that's really cool. What a way to die to the world of backstabbing and gossip and slander. I don't know that I could do it.... I like to say and think that I could, but then again, I'm not prepared to make that pact with myself, so I guess that suggests that I probably couldn't do it right now.

Anyway this isn't about MEEEEEE, it's about the neat things you learn about people, even after they're gone. :). A blessing.

I have so much that I want to say as per usual, but sleep beckons. Icky early morning classes so I'd best save it for later.

Song in my head:
Closure - Look Out Below

They're Blessing the Rains Down in Africa Again

I didn't realise that the site was there until this afternoon, but here is a link for the Uganda blog - http://www.meiermg.com/uganda/ As per usual there are some rad photos and a quick overview of what's been going on.

I (being sensitive and weepy) have been perusing it for a little while, and my heart is just aching, both in a good way and in a bad way. Is that physically possible? I'm smiling, but I'm tearing up as well. Why? Because I'm WEAK haha. Nah... it's just so touching / frustrating. I'm used to that juxtaposition of feelings though, and I find that they often go hand in hand.

Aaaaaanyway... Kell came to Peace Portal again and we sat with the lovely Corinne so Kell could be closer to the screen and read it a bit easier. It looks like this month is going to be pretty interesting as far as sermons go, so I'm looking forward to it.

Funny story: Last week, Kelly commented that Pastor Ross had been SOOOOO loud and I explained to her that sometimes the sound people have a bit of a different impression with regards to the levels and so the mic may have been up a bit high or something.... her reponse is what made / makes me laugh:

K: What? What mic?
S: The mic that they put on Ross.
K: I didn't see a mic.
S: It's a lapel mic. It's pinned to his shirt.
K: OH! I thought he was just yelling! That he was really angry or something!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love it. I teased her about it today and she said that she could see that Scott was wearing his mic ;).

YAY. Care group tomorrow. YAY. Not a thousand things due. YAY. I rented a movie for this evening. YAY. I get to work on my biology colouring book and read some Kant. Wait. That's not a yay. What am I saying?

Here's something that rhymes with yay though - pray. I think I shall.

"Stayin' Home Alone on a Saturday, Flat on the Floor Looking Back on Old Love

... or lack thereof. When all of the crushes have faded, all my wishful thinking was wrong. I'm jaded... I hate it."

Etc. etc.

By the way, those are all lines from John Mayer - Love Song for No One, and it's actually a Friday. But today's Saturday, so I had to adjust. Duh. It kind of puts a nice mental picture in one's head though, don't you agree? Just kinda lying there, hands up behind your head, staring at the ceiling, thinkin' 'bout schtuff.

Then again, I'm not flat on the floor. Nor am I looking back on old love, or lack thereof. And I'm not jaded. I guess I've been presenting falsehoods!!! *gasp*

I can't believe how drained this week has left me. I didn't get up until 11 and I very rarely do that. I felt a bit guilty, actually. Ah well. I guess I needed it. For some reason I decided that I was going to go see Lotus Child last night even though I was dead tired. Zahida and I made it safely though, got free parking, got a table. And they were really fantastic. If you want to check out their sound go to www.lotuschild.com and they've got a player you can use to check them out.

I had plans tonight but I ended up canceling. I'm kinda moody and don't feel like moving around. Probably best that I stay home :).

I just realized I'm still wearing my pajama pants. Whoops! Good thing I didn't leave the house today or that may have been a bit embarrassing. Actually I probably wouldn't have cared. I have no shame. No... I would have cared. I would have cared.

My gosh I'm boring.

Hallucination at its Best

Apparently I don’t handle a lack of sleep very well. For the last week I’ve been up really late trying to get all this crap done for school. Three papers and a midterm. Yeesh. It isn’t as though I’m the only person who’s ever experienced this, but I do still like to whine. It’s just my style!! So anyway I haven’t been sleeping and I’ve been drinking coffee instead which isn’t really very good for me given that coffee generally makes me crazy… crazier. I fell asleep on the bus home today which was ok I guess. I woke up and I was freaking out because I couldn’t see and I didn’t know what was going on. Then I realized that my eyes were closed, and that was the reason for my blindness. As I was walking down the sidewalk, I noticed a person walking awfully close to me, which kind of creeped me out. Turns out, though, that it was just my hair blowing in the wind. Go figure *cough cough SHE’S CRAZY cough*. I passed a car a few moments later, and saw a dog in a child safety seat. By this point in time I was fairly certain that I was hallucinating so I brushed it off, but then on closer inspection, I determined that there was in fact a dog sitting in a child safety seat. Hmm. Anyway the point to this story is that I’m crazy and I need sleep and I sure as heck shouldn’t be blogging at a time like this, but I really needed 5 minutes to just stop thinking about school and just… stop thinking about school. Think about the stuff that’s important and non-school related.

There is a team in Uganda / Kenya / possibly Sudan right now from PPAC and if you would be so kind as to remember them in your prayers (if you haven‘t already!), that’d be rad. And by “them” I also include the equipment that they’ve taken with them, cuz it plays a rather important role. It breaky, there be no fixy. That would frustrate the clap out of me. I’ve been having a grand old time praying for them. I figure it’s good for the soul to stop once an hour or so and just shut out the rest of the world and focus on God and what He’s doing in our world. Especially in times like these where I feel like my head is going to explode and that it might be the better alternative! It’s good times. It’s God times. Ha! *Slaps knee*. I’m even LESS hilarious when extremely tired!!! Who would have guessed?!!!!

In 18 hours I will be so happy. Very, very tired, but so happy.

5 minutes are up. Boo.