"Just so you know, it's not illegal to marry your first cousin, in case you have that secret crush..."

So says my Brit Lit teacher. She is a specialist in "18th- Century Smut Literature" (her words, not mine), so I guess she'd know. I'm really giddy today.. giddy and pensive at the same time. Makes no sense. I am trying this new thing called "applying myself" at school and so far (and this is day two, people), I have found it to be successful. Less homework at home is always good, especially when you're me and protocol goes something like this:

"OK, time to start doing this assignment.... OOOH!!! Something shiny!!!"
[four hours later]
"Really... must... start... hello? Why yes, I'd LOVE to do something."
[11 pm]
"That's it! It's time to get cracking.... I wonder if... [at this point I start daydreaming and thinking about completely non-school-related things and then I realize how comfortable my bed is and things just go downhill from there].

At school no one bugs me when I'm in the basement of the library (ie the SHHHH zone). Just a matter of discipline and not running like mad to the bus as soon as my classes are done (or before, which is so much worse).

When I got home I went to Crescent Beach with Grendel (aka Roxy) and I just watched. Really, really stunning. God is such a spectacular artist. I was reading 1 Chronicles on le bus today and I came across something called "David's Song of Praise". I liked it a lot.

Yay! I have a care group!

Woo hoo! I have a care group, which makes me happy. Jana is taking over one-half of the care group that is splitting from Thursday nights, and she's moving to Mondays. Yay. Oh yay. It makes me smile.

Ran into Zahida in the SUB today... she has her own business card. Wowzers. I feel as though I should have a business card.....

Sara Macdonald
Crazyperson

Yeah no.

I was wired until the wee hours of the morning on coffee....coffee makes me nuts... it literally takes 2 minutes and I'm all pep and energy - got some good reading done though. The Wife of Bath (from Canterbury Tales) is SO hilarious. Chaucer rocks. A lot. I have a feeling I'm going to start talking in archaic middle English sometime in the near future. It may be an amusing thing to witness. Cuz as far as I'm concerned, I've got a bit of the valley girl thing going on, with regards to my current speech. Like whoa. It would be like, soooo totally rad if I could like, drop the valley girl from my voice. Well maybe it's not that bad. I don't care :D.

The people at work FINALLY noticed the shoes that Megs and I hung from the rafters of the warehouse. How they didn't notice me being lifted up to the ceiling on the forks, not to mention the fact that we wandered around and drove home in socks is beyond me. Mwuahahaha. I should post a picture of our trickery.

Speaking of trickery, I had kind of a fun idea - it would be neat to go trick or treating, but instead of collecting candy, a group of us could collect food for the food bank! I'm going to call them and see if they have a program like that... so that people don't think I'm nuts and just trying to steal their canned goods.

Eeep. It's dark already. Time for me to get back to the grind.

But yay for caregroup. Yay.

"If I Had A Dollar For Every Brain You Don't Have, I Would Have One Dollar."

The above is a quote from a Spongebob episode that I watched with Brea last night. After a day of studying, an hour of Spongebob was our reward. I love being out here alone at my aunt and uncle's place. I was a bit wary about house-sitting for them, simply because it's out in the boonies (well, as boony-ish as 20th and 180th is) and it's a HUGE house and I'm by myself and stuff, but I've had someone spend the night every night since I've been here, so it's not bad at all. The solitude during the day (when I'm not in class) is actually a really nice change of pace, and it allows me to get things done that I can't get done with my noisy family around. Plus, it takes way more time to go into White Rock, so I am less tempted to go out and do stuff. Long-term that's not a great thing, but with the amount of reading that I have to do, it's good for now...

The sky out here is incredible. There aren't nearly as many lights, and with the moon as full as it is right now, it's a sight to behold. I swiped the digital camera, and I'm going to play around with that a bit at my next break. My uncle is a photographer, so hopefully he has a decent tripod. Though the shakiness might make for some interesting results. Ah experimentation... mwuahahaha.

I did the AIDS walk today, along with three of my girlfriends. There were quite a few people, but the turnout was a bit less than what I'd hoped, to be honest. I guess everyone has their "thing" or things that they like to support. You can't do everything, and I realise this. Anyway, the walk was nice, as well as the ride there and back. I love those girlies.

I went to visit my family for a few minutes this afternoon and my mom was acting as though I'd moved out or something. It was funny but I'm a bit worried as to what she will do when I actually move out. Bring on the separation anxiety!!

I've been thinking a lot more about this Sudan thing... I just want to know if I'm wanting to do it for the right reasons. It seems like my prayers have been answered in this idea, but the thing is... I LOVE doing stuff like this. Am I doing it for the thrill and the excitement, or am I doing it because I really feel like this is a tangible way to help out? I don't mean to say that it has to be exclusively one or the other, but I need to make sure that my intentions are in the right place before I push to make things happen. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like to settle for half-hearted results. If I do this, I will invest my heart and all my energy into seeing that it is as successful as it can possibly be. And that takes a lot out of a person. If I'm doing God's work, that's fine. If I'm not... then I don't want to do it. At least not now. I'm praying for some clarity... I think I know my answer... but I'm going to pray on it for a few more days before I spring into action.

I saw Meghan tonight and we got to talk for the first time since she moved out to North Van. I miss her tonnes. Going from seeing her all day every day at work to not really at all sucks. She's such an amazing girl. Things are going really well for her out at Cap, and I'm so happy for her. She is doing what she loves and I say good on her.

Alright... the cat is done eating which means the dog can come back in which means my break is over. I'll leave you with this: Today at the Walk I saw so many expressions of love, it was so beautiful. It's refreshing to see different (and I mean DIFFERENT) types of people joining together to walk in union for a cause. I was touched.

Hmm... maybe I'll leave you with this as well: www.badgerbadgerbadger.com.

Later Kiddies.

I have this dream...

I've been wondering in the last few days about what I can do to help the people of Sudan... yesterday this idea came to me, and I can't stop thinking about it. I really think that it's what I'm supposed to do - it's a way for me to use what I have over here to help over there. Here is my plan: I want to hold a benefit concert at UBC to raise funds AND awareness about the problem. I can't stop thinking about it. I will have to see where this dream leads, but it's not something that I feel I can ignore... there's a difference between ranting about things that are important to me and actually doing something. This may very well be the "something tangible" that I have been looking for.

Afro-Cuban Allstars were amazing last night.

Things that make me happy / angry / less angry, in that order.

Warning: #2 deals with issues that will be sensitive for some people....

There are three things that I am thinking about as I take a break from my philosophy homework.

1 - This morning, I was waiting at the bus stop, when a dozen mentally challenged men and women came up to wait at the same stop. They were led by three people, and I was just thinking, "wow... these three people are pretty amazing." They must have a love for the community that drives them. I think it's just such an awesome vocation. I couldn't help but smile as one man tried about 15 times to shake my hand, and each time, the woman would patiently and lovingly tell him that handshaking wasn't to be done with strangers. It made me feel nice, to know that there are people out there who are willing to dedicate their lives to making the lives of others better.

2 - The RCMP made two announcements this afternoon regarding sex offenders that have been released or are scheduled to be released within the next few days. The reason that there was an announcement? "These are men who we feel are very likely to offend again". WHAT THE CLAP?!!!! What is WRONG with our system that allows people who have NOT finished their sexual offender's rehabilitation program back onto the street (or lets them out EVER, if you want my opinion)?!!!! This one guys "danger group" is women... and male & female adolescents... oh, and children too. This makes me so furious. I have always been so frustrated with a system that will let a someone get away on a techinicality... why oh why should they be let out when they haven't even tried to rehabilitate them? People should have no right to choose whether or not to participate in rehabilitation programs. You lose that right when you rape someone. I know no less than FOUR people, people with whom I am very close, who have been raped, and they're letting these monsters back out onto the streets? Does the law not understand how much the victims have to go through? Last year, I dropped classes, my grades suffered, I couldn't sleep, I was overwhelmed by emotions and lack of time for myself, and spent a good portion of the year as a mess / zombie / wreck... and that was just supporting someone who had been through it. But oh, the rapist has done his time, so let's release him, even though we're pretty sure he hasn't learned his lesson. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. They should remain locked up!!!!! What is going to happen when (not if, according to the cops) these people strike again? I would be so angry to be an RCMP and be forced to face people at a press conference and make this kind of statement knowing that some sick, sick man is about to be released into the world. Not to mention the fact that most women who are raped don't even tell people, or at very least don't see their attackers brought to justice. I feel sick. These men need HELP, not FREEDOM. I can't even imagine how their victims are feeling right now.

3 - OK... now that my levels of frustration are skyrocketing, I need to end things off with something less angrifying (yes I know it's not a real world but I'm mad, so I'll say what I WANT :p). For the first time since... well, ever, I don't despise Paul Martin! I know, it's pretty incredible, huh? He's offering 20 million dollars to help in Sudan and he was in New York, urging the United Nations to help out in any way that they can. It was cool - he said something to the effect that instead of arguing over what the term "genocide" really entails, people should be over there stopping the killing. I wholeheartedly agree. If any of you know of a tangible way to help from over here, please do let me know.

I don't know whether to be proud of my fellow humans when I think about my encounter at the bus stop, disgusted with my fellow humans when I think about the news release, or refreshed by Paul Martin's doing something right for a change.

There is so much good in the world, and so much bad. I hope that God will use me to do something to increase the amount of good some day. I have my thoughts... but that's an entirely different can of worms... probably the biggest can of worms that I possess, so we'll save it for Rant II.

WHERE CAN YOU SEE LIONS? ONLY IN KENYA!

WHERE CAN YOU SEE LIONS?
ONLY IN KENYA!
COME TO KENYA, WE'VE GOT LIONS!
WHERE CAN YOU SEE TIGERS?
ONLY IN KENYA!
GOT LIONS AND TIGERS ONLY IN KENYA!
COME TO KENYA, WE'VE GOT TIGERS!
FORGET NORWAY!
KENYA! OH KENYA!
WHERE THE GIRAFFES ARE! AND ZEBRA!
KENYA! KENYA! KENYA! KENYA!
KENYA! COME TO KENYA! KENYA BELIEVE IT?
(FREE SNORKEL WITH EVERY VISIT).

This one's silly too, but sooooooo cuuuuuute. Makes me happy--- http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/29/. As per usual, view at your own risk. Gee these guys must have no life. I suppose one has two options when one has no life.... a)make crazy little cartoons for people like me to find. Alright I've been doing homework for way too long. Hand feels like it's broken and eyes are starting to glaze over.

-Sara

ps- the second option when one has no life is to get a Blog.

I am such a REBEL!!!!!!!!!

I have decided that I am going to rebel against society and wear my jeans - the ones with the hole in the knee. Haha! I've never actually owned a pair of jeans with a hole in the knee so I find the whole situation slightly more amusing than it actually is on a Monday morning. To complete the outfit, I'm wearing my housecoat over everything. Not in public of course, though it is the most wonderful housecoat in the world, hands down. John got it for me for my birthday, and it's exactly like his - an old man, blue terry cloth thing that hangs almost to the ground. It's rad.

I don't have class until noon, but I woke up at 5 am with the realization that I probably agreed to take Willy's day for sound... on Thanksgiving weekend. Let me check my calendar.... yup. Hmm.... how do I go about telling this to my family? "Guess what, Mom and Dad? Your first born is an inept moron who doesn't think things through ever!!!" I looked in my Palm, and I was like "Sweet! I have nothing going on that weekend!" Duh Sara, it's Thanksgiving. So hmm... let's just hope hope hope that it we aren't going to our trailer that weekend... and maybe I can convince them to do Thanksgiving on Monday or something. Otherwise I'll be by myself on Thanksgiving. That might be kind of cool. A reflective Thanksgiving... Meh. That's what I get for not thinking very much. I should probably go and write in all major holidays so that I don't do this again.

Anyway. I woke up at 5, prayed a bit, then got up and went to Great West. Now I'm home and ready to go with nothing to do except school work. Bah! I think not! Actually, I'm lucky because I have read two of the three works I'm studying at the moment, so it's not as pertinent for me to be reading at the moment, especially since I don't WANT to. Ha. I have been perusing through smugmug.com, and I found a few sites that I thought I would share. http://williams.smugmug.com/ and http://winkphotoworks.smugmug.com/ - both very, very nice.

SO! The retreat to Mount Baker was awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed every aspect of it, including the rides to and from. There is so much to see, and I found myself looking out the window a lot. Plus the company was good, again, both ways. There was one kid there that I had known for half a year at Clear, and I got to know him better in less than a day than I had in 6 months at Clear - it was cool. I love how my prayers have been answered in such a real way lately. I was hoping to get the opportunity to get to know some of the worship team members better and whazaaa. Three weeks later there's a retreat.

The air was great up there - I was right about the sweet smelling-ness. On the Friday evening, we all went to the chapel on the campsite, and just shared a little bit about ourselves with the group. Phil, Trevor, and Eric shared in a bit more detail, and by the end, I felt like I knew a bit more about everyone there. It sparked conversation that followed to Saturday, and I think that was one of the points - the sparking. From there, some beautiful worship broke out, and though I was nursing the NeoCitrin and shouldn't have been singing, I did a bit anyway. It was great - the rain was pounding down outside, and it was so cozy inside.

The rest of the evening was spent in our cabins - yeah, we stayed up giggling like little girls. Quite the fun times. I can't believe how old some of these women are. OK, that came out HORRIBLY wrong... what I mean is that I really thought they were a lot younger than they are. Which means that they look youthful. There we go... that sounds a bit more like a compliment!

On Saturday we broke into groups and went to discuss worship team format and questions about the ministry in general. It was cool to once again hear what's been on people's hearts. Sometimes I just like to observe. Basically from there we were done, and went for our lunch before heading out. The camp itself was so cute - very stereotypical, mess hall, chapel, cute little cabins. It reminded me a bit of Kwomais.

Around lunchtime I was a bit shocked to receive some pretty nice encouragement from two people whom I absolutely respect. I dunno... I was a bit taken aback, surprised about what they said, but it made me feel really, really good. And I'm such an egomaniac, I need to hear these things on a regular basis. Well of course not, but I really had no idea of how I was doing. I figured I wasn't so bad at sound that all of a sudden Matt just "happened" to show up every time I was scheduled, but I hadn't heard anything either way. I love doing sound so much, and I'm excited about this course that I'm trying to get into. I want to try to speed up the rate at which I improve at mixing, so the promise of "hands on" is appealing. More experience = good. Mwuahahahaha.

Man, the Sumas border is so quick! We breezed through both ways. I got "stuck" in cars full of cool people both ways, so it was nice. Then again, all the people that I got to hang out with this weekend were cool. Yeah... so overall I am so glad that I went. So glad. Did I mention that I am so GLAD that I went on this retreat?

I still have an hour to kill...

"I'm riding the bus!"

Where is that from? Is that from The Simpsons, when Mr. Burns goes out into the world on his own? I seem to recall John doing some sort of imitation. I'll have to ask him. John, if you're reading this, where is "I'm riding the bus" from? Anyway, I wrote this yesterday when I was on the bus. I decided not to bring my books with me, because I don't have any reading due that I can get done on the bus (biology CANNOT be done while in a moving vehicle). I don't usually write stuff like this (usually I just rant, or ramble), so I'm not sure where it came from...

I step onto the bus - can you believe that they can fit 120 people onto one of these buses? I flash my U-Pass, but the attendant doesn't really notice. There are no seats, so I grab a pole and absently wonder whose hand has warmed it (a slightly concerning thought, actually). The bus pulls away and 90% of its passengers whip out cell phones, eagerly awaiting voicemails, text messages, maybe even a phone call. There are ringtones waiting to be stuck in my head, except I'm wearing my headphones today.

The bus is moving, and no one makes eye contact, except to apologize for overstepping the square foot of space that has been alotted to them. The bus continues to drive, lurching along. You can watch an entire row of people shift accordingly, in perfect unison. We enter the Greek district, where Atlas will sell you used goods at close-out prices (70% off - no kidding!), Poseidon offers fish and chips (take out or dine in), and little old Greek men gossip like teenage girls, their frantic Greek spilling out of excited mouths. The Starbucks shines brightly - is it the newest of the 6 that I've seen on the street so far?

Lens & Shutter signals a new part of town and the "best deal on trades in the city". Students on a budget enjoy a haircut for $11.75, cheap airfare, and, down a bit, shopping sprees at Dollar Max. The bus joint makes a sound, and I am once again convinced that today will be the day when the bus comes unhinged and half of us are left terrified and stranded. I remember that time in Anaheim when the bus drive pulled a u-turn in an accordian bus. He was a nice guy. This bus driver politely urges new passengers to go as far back as they can. He knows that we just want to go home, and as long as everyone can squish behind that red line, it's alright.

Cheap student apartments flash past our little ecosystem that is the BUS, names like "Marrachi's Villa" alluding to the exotic features (surely the cockroaches hail from somewhere warm and sunny, and therefore merit the $800/month it costs to rent such a humble abode). People walk hand-in-hand, dog-in-hand, cellphone-in-hand, and Broadway becomes the street that has everything. Beauty, health, fashion, medicine, religion, food, and entertainment (mostly from the people on the street, actually). Mesa Luna's beckons with the promise of Salsa Dancing. I saw Stabilo there once, before they dropped the Boss. It's not a bad place, and clean, though the soundguy is a nutter. Xtopher's offers haircuts at a slightly higher student rate, and the baritone voice that comes blaring from the speakers at Opera Sushi is a reminder that my stop is quickly approaching. If I'm close enough, I say a quick thank-you to the bus driver, who probably doesn't deserve most of the attitude that he has to put up with.

I step out of the bus and back into the real world. The people push, rushing to catch buses that are pulling away before their eyes. The smell of McDonald's permeates the entire street as usual. I cross the street, Granville Street, and half watch the men fixing the clock in the tower above "I Love Hats". If I'm lucky, the 351 will be coming along any minute. If I'm not lucky, I've just missed it. The guy with the kitten isn't there today. I pass a man covered by a blanket and wonder. Where's his family? Who stopped calling whom, or did it just happen that they don't speak anymore? Did they try to help him? When is the last time someone told him that they loved him? And why am I too scared to ask him how he's doing or if I can pray for him the next time he watches me walk towards my bus? Is this silly, or reasonable?

No time to think further on the subject, as my shining behemoth pulls up to the stoplight. Now for the fine art of bus-catching. The bulk of the crowd is waiting for the B-Line to Richmond Centre, others still waiting for buses that will carry them to Steveston, Scottsdale, Tsawassen. The luxury highway buses. Schoolgirls flirt with schoolboys outside yet another Starbucks, and that old man who will probably never die heaves his bike deftly onto the rack mounted on the bus heading back to White Rock (Crescent Beach to be more precise). When I'm old, I want to be like him. Except for the man part.

My timing is good, and I land a seat on my own that isn't even in the wheelwell. I am joined by another, and his music is loud, but it has a good cuban beat, and I am amused as this punk in a black toque taps excitedly on his iPod, in time with the strains of muted trumpets. I lose interest and turn my attention back to my music, which has become white noise. I can't believe I'm at track seven already. The bus driver merges, stopped only briefly by the foolish woman who receives a good honking for pulling into the bus lane. And we're off - no one is standing at this time of day, and the regulars settle back into conversation as Suki's passes by. I don't even think Suki's has a student rate on haircuts.

I listen to the conversations, not eavesdropping, but unable to ignore the bald man sitting in front of me as he laughs hysterically. The rowdies are at the back, or at the front. The back is the domain of private school kids who are far too used to the commute. The front is inhabited by the work crowd - they're the real talkers. The soap opera unravels once again and I feel the comfort and familiarity. Did you know that her husband's produce section is #1 in the Lower Mainland? Well it makes sense - he's been there for 17 years. And that guy's son had his first date over the weekend - good on him! For 40 minutes a day these people share their lives. It's really... something. I like it. The bus driver adds his two cents on occasion. This one's a funny one, and I wonder if I am allowed to be laughing to myself.

Through the tunnel in a flash (yay counterflow)... the man who always wears that yellow raincoat and carries on full conversations with himself boards. He makes me feel a bit nervous, but the bus driver knows who he is, and he looks out for his passengers. The guy beside me still drums away on his iPod. The pretty grey-haired woman is flipping through her Nora Roberts romance as raincoat man talks about hillbillies, Philedelphia, and chickens digging holes in the backyard. Oh! the grey-haired woman is drinking water, even though the sign at the front says no food or drink. She's just as scandalous as the rest of us!!! He's still talking about chickens...

I look out the window. The man in the car beside us is squeezing a stressball. Seems a bit dangerous, but maybe I don't understand stress. Maybe it would be more dangerous for him to not be squeezing it. At my right, the Serpentine Fen, our little jewel, sparkles and twinkles amidst the rushes and the grass. Explain to the chicken, says raincoat man to the empty seat beside him, where the 500 dollars went, and why his chicken coop is the nicest in town. Apparently it's absolutely posh. Oh yes. Absolutely posh. Crescent Road is there and gone in an instant... I love driving on that road.

People are starting to get off, saying their goodbyes and their thankyous. I hear many more 'thankyous' on this bus than on the B-Line, and I wonder why this is. I watch as the familiar White Rock shops and services pass by - or rather as we pass by. At the Park and Ride, the bus empties to halfway, and I glance over at another Starbucks - White Rock's fourth. We drive up the street and I reach for the yellow cord. One hand is quicker than my own, and as I'm extending my arm towards the window I hear that comforting "ding". I stumble with my backback to the front as the bus comes to a sudden stop. I never was one for balance with a backpack weighing me down. I say my thankyou and get a "take care of yourself" in response. White Rock greets me as I trudge across the overpass towards home.

What's with that, huh? I felt inspired and wrote madly the entire way home. I guess I thought it was time to record some of the things I see on the busride home. As much as I complain, there is so much to see. I'm just too busy reading to notice it most of the time. There are so many things to observe in this world of ours...

I went on the little retreat yesterday and got home a couple hours ago. More on that later... but I am so glad that I went - it was really great.

Sara I Am Going To Fail Macdonald

Oooh! Now I have 5 middle names.

Thought (not my own, it's Zahida's): What about Ostragen?

I still kind of like Ostrii, but Ostragen has a ring to it. Sounds like some sort of hormone. Maybe it's an ostrich hormone. Makes them stupid and long-necked. Apparently she has an photo of those ostrii as well. I'll have to thieve it.

Sara Procrastination Macdonald

OK so I'm not exactly telling the truth. But I was thinking "gee, procrastination is my middle name". Plus, Procrastination is a bit more exotic than Johanne. It's not like I haven't been TRYING to write my paper... because I have. Sitting in front of my computer, staring blankly at the monitor, I have waited for inspiration. And I have ideas, many ideas, churning and whirling in my head, but nothing has materialised into a complete paper. It's about 1/2 done. I will finish it of course, but I wonder if there is a way to change the way I write. It needs to be something that I can force, dammit! "OK, be creative... NOW." I wish. That Derrida paper was my best by far and it was written in 40 minutes but I prepared for a few days... it's the preparation that requires discipline and will help me in the future.

I am really looking forward to tomorrow, after say... 1 o'clock. Then my paper will be in the hot little hands of Dr. Globe, and the anticipation of the retreat will help me to get through my bio class. I can't wait to get up to the mountain. There's something about the air in the mountains that is almost sweet. I find that really good air and really good water has a sweetness to it. Maybe it's because it's so fresh or something. Mmm. Reminds me of Whatcom... I only went there once this summer, which is kind of sad.

Zahida's birthday is tomorrow. I'm taking her out NEXT Friday and I just came up with the plan today - I'm pretty pleased with the way things worked out. The Afro-Cuban Allstars are playing at the Chan Centre that evening, so I'm going to take her out for dinner and then we're going to go listen to some lovely latin / cuban music. Thank goodness for bright and colourful posters, or I would have had no idea that they were coming. Like mountain air, there's just something about seeing a vibrant band live and in the flesh... you can tell on their recordings that they have zazz (hmm that should be the word of the day), but to see and experience it in a show is different. Woohoo.

Zazz: Word stolen from The Simpsons. I take it to mean spunk.

I love NeoCitrin. I'm trying to beat this cold before it actually develops, so it's been chamomile and NeoCitrin and lots of water (they charge for hot water at UBC... isn't that sick? those jerkpantses). Can't say I've been getting much rest, but what else can be expected. This is me.

Two / Dos / Deux / Zwei

Two posts in one day? Scandalous!

Roxy ate our dinner tonight. Lept onto the stove and ate the chicken. My dad gave her a spanking so she went into the living room and peed all over the carpet.

My mom's first instinct was the give her the leftover chicken. I wish I was cute so that I could get away with being devious and vengeful.

Ostrii...:D!

Ostrii
Originally uploaded by fizz_bubbles.

It's "ostriches", right? Whatever. When I rule the world with my Opa, Dyllon, and Kyra, it will be ostrii, because it sounds cooler. What is it with me and weird animals? My stuffed ostrich, Pecky, has been a faithful companion for several years now, though most of her time is probably spent somewhere under my bed.

- Sara

*Note: This photo was taken by Trevor (though not Magical Trevor), and there are about eleventy billion more at www.meiermg.com (I think). Not all of ostrii, but of other things like kids and sunsets and stuff.

And as Spongebob would say...

"I ripped my pants!" Why yes, that's right, I ripped my pants today. It was an interesting experience. There I was, walking to Physiology, with my 75 pound backpack (I had to buy some textbooks today... prettttty brutal), when all of a sudden, I trip. This is not at all unusual, but because of the weight on my back I was propelled forward and couldn't regain my balance. Basically I tripped and fell up some stairs, landing on my hands and knees, scratching myself up nicely and ripping a hole in the knee of my jeans. I felt like such a knob, but I wasn't really that embarrassed. More angry about the jeans. And now my knee hurts... wah wah wah.

SoulFood started up again tonight, and it's really... well it's like God has been stirring up the same sort of ideas in a number of people lately, namely Scott and the care group leaders. They're going to try doing care groups and SoulFood as a "package" I guess you could say, which is exactly what will work for me. Now I need to find a care group. Hopefully something will present itself in the near future, and if not, I'll just have to be brave and ask a group if I can join them. It's scary stuff, but I can do it if need be.... hopefully. I had to leave early because I conveniently didn't do some prep for a class tomorrow, but it was really nice to get my mind off school for a little while.

I think smiling is contagious... maybe I should do an experiment and find out.

Word of the day: spleen. Meaning: some sort of organ in the body. There is a detailed description in the dictionary, but what I like better is the archaic meanings: a) an ill-temper (ie, to vent one's spleen) b) melancholy c) a whim; a caprice.

I'm going on a little retreat on Friday and Saturday. I've never been on one. Should be fun and I'm excited.

The Z is back in town!

I didn't realise until I saw her how much I missed Zahida. I think that's the best way for it to be though... I'm glad that I wasn't pining for her. That would be sad, both in the boo hoo way and the "wow you have no life" way. It was great to see her even if she was a bit dopey from her voyages ;).

I should be sleeping or reading for my upcoming classes this week, but I made the mistake of getting SNL: The Best of Will Ferrell Volume 2. Uh oh. So needless to say I'm watching that instead. Will Ferrell. Man, he is so funny. Right now he's fighting someone with a trident.

Will Ferrell reminds of Meghan. She is probably at her new place in North Vancouver right now - she moved in this evening. I am really excited for her... she's doing what she wants to do, and it's going to be such an amazing experience for her. I'll miss seeing her all the time though.

Good news! I think I have a handle on the swearing thing! I've been off work for about a week and a half and I've undone most of the damage from 4 months in the warehouse. I know that the end is in sight because I'm not THINKING them. I'm such a weirdo.

I've been thinking about how unfortunate the name "Sara" can be in certain ways. Certain WAY, I guess. It can't really be shortened at all... is that a good thing or a bad thing? Meghan is Megs, Ashlee is Ash, Zahida is Zee, John is John (ok bad example), Breanne is Brea, etc. etc. I've concluded that "Sar" doesn't work. Let's continue though. At Tomko we have Nicki (Nick), Christopher (Chris), Jacob (Jake), Trevor (Trev... or "T-Dawg" as he prefers), and it just goes on. I guess you can't really shorten "Ian" unless you want to call him "Ee". Maybe it's a problem with MY family then. Nah, but Marlene can be Mar, and Kelly can be Kell. To solve the problem, people at work started to call me Sass. They claim that it sounds most like "Sara", but I think it's because of my attitude problem ;). Ah well. Such is life.

I went to Jay Duncan's cd release party last night, and it was spectacular. I keep trying to think of words that will describe the things that I find really really great, but I think I'm too limited. Either that, or I just take pleasure in way too many things. I'm actually quite easily pleased. OK, back to the cd release party. It was cool because it was live music, atmosphere, video, and this fun ambiance at the top of the stage (:D!). Plus there was a push to sponsor children, which is always really cool. Speaking of sponsor children, Edith is going to be five this month!!! I just think it's great that the Lazarus Church cd could be such a real project. People need to be more real in my opinion.

Go here -- http://www.viewmaps.com/ppac/getvideo.php?s=9008 it's good, good times.

BC Transit has this program called Poetry in Motion or something like that, and it's pretty stupid for the most part. I found this one poem, however, that I really like. I'm not sure I get it, but it sounds pretty :).

light in june - Patrick Friesen
like light from nowhere we are born and like light
we step toward nowhere and aflame
light bursting from seedlings the field's dark soil
lit one morning in pale green fire who would have thought
where there was nothing there is light and light is nothing
you can hold the flash off a spoon turning in a cup...

we see almost none of the light in our lives
our hands raised before us fingers splayed against the sun
our eyes squint to keep light out or we'd die from fire
we'd perish blind in the blaze of the world
but like magdalen there are moments for each
when we stand astonished and witness to light.

I'm going to have to think on that one.

I Slept with a Nightlight Until I was 14

Things that are gross this morning:
- spending the whole night puking up who-knows-what.
- watching CSI until 11 and creeping yourself out so that you have to read your Bible to remember that you're safe (haha).
- having an essay worth 25% of your mark due next Friday ALREADY.
- being semi-conscious while your dog licks your hand like there's no tomorrow.

I don't know if those necessarily fit under "gross" but I like the word gross. It just sounds cool. Kind of like "lust" I guess, but that's a different story.

I have the flu, which sucks because I don't like having the flu. (Umm duh) And now I have to miss class... it's the first freakin' week, so that's a bit frustrated. I fear I'll come back to school and will have been dropped from all of my classes. But really. Who wants to take a 1.5 hour bus ride when they're nauseous? Yes, no thanks.

My classes, though challenging, are looking pretty good, so I'm excited about them. I have an essay due on Friday in one of my English classes, which seems a bit early for me, but I'm not the prof. And I'm sure I'll survive. I am going to have to work preeeeetty hard this year I think. But I will rise to the challenge, darnit. Speaking of darnit, one of my profs swears a lot. It's kind of funny. It's nothing really offensive ("soft" swears I guess), and it's amusing to me to see her standing up there giving a lecture....

Jay's cd release party is tomorrow and I'm excited about hearing that stuff live again. I'm also doing the Parkinson's Walk tomorrow morning if I stop being SICK. I just hope that the weather holds off and we don't get all wet and gross. Ah! There we go! GROSS!

CSI is such a great show. I love watching it - it's the only thing I really watch. Except like I mentioned above, I probably shouldn't watch it right before bed... I slept with a nightlight until I was 14 because I got scared by MURDER SHE WROTE when I was about 10. This is an indication of my "scareability." Basically I'm pathetic ;). Anyway I'm going to take advantage of the quiet house and the break in vomitting (which is hopefully a permanent break!) and do some Bio... ah homework....

Everyone Loves Magical Trevor

EVERYONE LOVES MAGICAL TREVOR
CUZ THE TRICKS THAT HE DOES ARE EVER SO CLEVER
LOOK AT HIM NOW DISAPPEARING A COW
WHERE IS THE COW HIDDEN RIGHT NOW?
TAKIN' A BOW IT'S MAGICAL TREVOR
EVERYBODY'S SEEN THAT THE TRICK IS CLEVER
LOOK AT HIM NOW WITH HIS LEATHERY, LEATHERY WHIP
IT'S MADE OF MAGIC AND WITH A LITTLE FLIP
YEAH YEAH YEAH THE COW IS BACK
YEAH YEAH YEAH THE COW IS BACK
BACK BACK BACK FROM HIS MAGICAL JOURNEY
WHAT DID HE SEE IN THE PARALLEL DIMENSION?
HE SAW BEANS LOTS OF BEANS LOTS OF BEANS LOTS OF BEANS
SAW BEANS LOTS OF BEANS LOTS OF BEANS LOTS OF BEANS YEAH YEAH


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I highly recommend that you go this link: http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/37/ . *Wipes tear*. Make sure you turn on the sound. It's so ridiculous.

First day of classes was good. I'm thinking that this year is going to be a challenging one... I have an essay due next Friday that is worth 25% of my grade... kind of intense. And Bio is going to push my brain to the limit. I love bio but I'm not very good at it... so I don't usually take classes like that, as I'd rather be confused all on my own. I think though that if I work hard I should be ok. That's the key: hard work. I've decided to give up MSN at least for now, and try to use my time wisely. We'll see how long both of those last.

This year really feels like my first in a lot of ways. I know my way around campus and I know the routine, but with all that went on last year, I didn't really feel as though I had a chance to join any clubs or get to know more than a few people well - and don't get me wrong: I really like the people that I've had the pleasure of becoming friends with so far. But I plan on joining a group of some sort... last year my energy was sucked right out of me and I just wanted to go home at the end of each day. It's still going to be a long trek, but as long as I'm doing a bit better emotionally, then I should be fine.

EVERYONE LOVES MAGICAL TREVOR CUZ THE TRICKS THAT HE DOES ARE EVER SO CLEVER. Haha. Still makes me laugh. Now I'm going to have that song stuck in my head all night. Oh well - it's the perfect thing to have running through one's head while one starts reading one's philosophy package.

Blee Blee Blee Oceano

I am not sure what the exact words of that song are.... Piove sul'oceano. There we go. I have that song in my head right now. I am dead tired, but ImagineUBC was a success in my mind. I met all my MUGgles (as I so affectionately call them), even though some of them were lost and showed up waaaaaaay later in the day. With a sign like "Nietzsche", it's kind of hard to miss. He's the guy that many people enjoy hating! He's also the guy that really helped me to re-affirm that I am a Christian. So I guess I like / dislike him. Anyway. I got to ride the good old bus again today, along with the kabillion other people who are the "regulars". I was fortunate enough to get a seat at 6 3o am, thank goodness. I met my MUGgles and we had a good time chatting. I was really thankful that there weren't any weirdos in my group. I know that sounds bad, but having a group of people and then one maladjusted, freaky person is seriously a damper on an otherwise great group. We were a big group as well. Of course there were a few people with whom I could tell that they didn't really want to spend the whole day hanging out with our group, but for the most part it was pretty darn fun. I was glad to be able to do Imagine again in some ways... except this time I was the one leading it. I hope that I was able to make these people feel more comfortable about school and about life on campus. I intend to keep in touch with them as long as they are wanting to keep in touch with me. I wasn't finished until about 3 30, and then I hopped on the bus. I didn't get a seat on the bus to White Rock, and then I remembered that I don't like standing on the bus. I will have to get back into the fine sport of seat-finding. It should really be in the Olympics because it takes speed, stamina, and craftiness. Haha. My favorite poem to read on the bus was posted on the wall so that made me happy. It's called "the light you take from the lord" by a guy who lives out here named Friesen. It makes me smile. I don't think that I get it, but it makes me smile nonetheless. I am going to call Megs and see how her surgery went and then I'm going to try to stand up (it's been a looooong three days... if I can manage to get my socks off, we'll be in good shape).

Sara "the yellow dart"

OH! Before I forget... I'm doing the AIDS walk in a few weeks out at Stanley Park. If anyone wants to join me or make a donation to support the cause, just let me know!

You know what?

I love Jesus so much. I've been feeling overwhelmed by that lately. I don't feel like I've done anything near enough for Him in the last few days... I don't know if it's that I haven't been doing as MUCH to worship and adore Him as usual, or if I am realizing more and more how amazing and worthy He is. They aren't kidding when they sing "my greatest gift would be the least You're due" or something to that effect. *sigh* I am so happy that I have Jesus in my life. I was talking to a friend that I haven't really heard from in a long while and he asked me how I am doing. I told him, and I honestly mean this, that I've been very happy lately. Life hasn't been perfect by any means, but I just have this confidence and this joy... yeah! This JOY that can't be explained by anything other than having found (or rather having BEEN FOUND by) Jesus. I was brought to tears by Josh Groban on Wednesday night and I was just kind of thinking... I have another friend who I think is always secretly trying to make me "see the light" and realize that there is no God... and he's a great person... but I was so tempted to tell him that what I felt on Wednesday about the music that was surrounding me and making me feel so amazing (and I know that he feels the same way about really really good music) is the way that I feel about Jesus... but times a million. It's impossible to put into words how I feel, as it so often is. I am frustrated by the lack of language that is available to me, but at the same time I know that there will never be any way to communicate exactly how I feel... and I guess that's ok. I am so amazed by God's love, even when I'm not being the best person that I can be. God is love, and I want so badly to be a reflection of that in my thoughts, actions, and relationships.

Tomorrow I'll be leading a group of first years around UBC for ImagineUBC. I'm feeling really excited, because it's a chance that I have to repay the MUG (My Undergraduate Group) system for getting me excited about UBC. I really hope that I can support and make these students feel comfrotable and help them to be not scared. And I hope that I will feel comfortable and be not scared. I think, however, that the extrovert that has been hidden inside me for so long for reasons that are too personal to share is finally feeling comfortable enough to start coming out. It's pretty exciting.

Big day tomorrow. I'm going to call the kids in my group and wish them a good night sleep / see if they have any other questions.

Zahida comes home on Sunday - I am really starting to miss her so I'm glad that I will get to see her soon!

- Sara

Mmmmm

I'm in that delightful state of sleepiness. At 9:24 pm on a Sunday night haha! I had a busy day today; I had to be at church by 7:30 this morning to set up for the first service (I got to do sound today - Yay!!). I love doing sound. I wish that I could get better faster, but I guess that people have to work hard at anything in order to improve. What I NEED to do is arrange to have the soundboard moved to my house so that I can practice whenever I feel so inclined. Oh wait, I said I was sleepy, not dreaming. My mistake. Anyway, there were a few "minor" glitches today, but by the evening service, I think I had everything figured out for the most part. I feel so intimidated when there are other soundies lurking around... I feel as though they are ready to pounce and start EQing and changing everything. But wow, they sure do a good job. I would like to be that good one day.

In between services I drove out to UBC, and it was a lovely drive. I love driving. I had to give a presentation to new parents of Arts One, which was a bit intimidating, because I think that they expect us to be eloquent and well-spoken, and I'm a slack-jawed yokel. Whatever. It's THEIR fault for asking me. Just like it was Trevor's fault for leaving his car at work when we shrink-wrapped it. It just makes sense.

I was supposed to get together with Megs tonight so that we could record some songs together, but her dad's in town and her back is hurting her. It must be His will, because I'm really not in the mood, though I must say I'm disappointed that we won't really have much of a chance to do any recording for the next little while. Speaking of singing, my grandparents gave me 2 grand yesterday. Doesn't that rock? Anyway, I've decided that if possible, I'm going to get back into singing lessons because I miss them SO much and I miss singing and learning new things and I don't really have time for anything like a choir. *sigh*. Music rocks.

OOOOH! I went to see Josh Groban on Wednesday..... .... ........ . . ... ................ That man is just one curly-haired ball of talent and class. He was spectacular. He sang so beautifully and he had a really good stage presence, which is important. As a young classical singer, he really did a good job of mixing formality with his age, if that makes any sense. He wore a nice blazer and slacks to begin with, and then by the end he was in a black shirt and dark jeans. And he was wearing skater shoes. I think that's rad - he was also backed by a full string section and mini orchestra with timpani and stuff. The sound guys did an AWESOME job, and everything sounded incredible, even though it was GM Place. I was very pleasantly surprised. He sang lots of his beautiful Italian songs and some Spanish songs and some English songs... I don't think there were any Frenchies in there anywhere, but that's probably for the best. Wow, thank goodness I can type faster than I can write because I have a lot to say. I don't know how relevent any of it is, but whatever.

The guy who opened for Josh is a pianist named William Joseph. He was great. And cute, apparently, though I couldn't tell, because we were so far away. Megs says that he was cute though, so I'll take her word for it. I mean, like I always say, a guy can have a foot sticking out of his head and if he can sing, play the guitar, or play the piano, I will probably still be like *uhbuhhhhh*. Musical guys are my weakness. It's not so much based on looks, which I think is good, but I'm no less fickle than someone who likes studly blonds (eww). Give me a dark-haired musical guy who loves Jesus over that ANY DAY.

I have to go to UBC again TOMORROW for "Leadership training". Like I don't know how to take some kids on a tour of the campus. Bleh. Actually, it's probably a great idea, because otherwise, I will get lost. Which would be funny but embarrassing. And I guess we need to figure out the schedule and stuff. I take it back, I think it's a good idea to be going to this thing tomorrow, though I would really like to sleep in a bit. When I was at UBC I got my U-Pass printed up, so at least I get to ride the bus for free. I think I'll ride the bus tomorrow so that I can sleep for a while and listen to Josh Groban or maybe STING.

That's who I'm listening to now. I totally forgot that he is coming with Annie Lennox in October. My parents are going but my mom says I can't go because I will cramp her style. I wonder if she thinks that I'm a nerd because I don't go out and party or something. Mff whatever. I'm still trying to find someone who will come with me and sit up in the nosebleeds with binoculars... because I LOVE Annie Lennox and I LOVE Sting. They're both supposedly amazing live as well... it's sort of like a one-of-a-kind lineup. It's bloody expensive though (125 for the really good seats... thus the boonies and binoculars plan). If I can find someone I'll even go down and buy some scalped tickets if I need to. ROOOOOOXANNEEEEE!!!

Aww that makes me miss my dog. I am so pathetic. But not as pathetic as my mom. I think she likes Roxy more than she likes me and Kelly. And probably my dad too (jk... i hope). It's bed time for Sara "the yellow dart" Macdonald.... more later I'm sure.