You know what?

I love Jesus so much. I've been feeling overwhelmed by that lately. I don't feel like I've done anything near enough for Him in the last few days... I don't know if it's that I haven't been doing as MUCH to worship and adore Him as usual, or if I am realizing more and more how amazing and worthy He is. They aren't kidding when they sing "my greatest gift would be the least You're due" or something to that effect. *sigh* I am so happy that I have Jesus in my life. I was talking to a friend that I haven't really heard from in a long while and he asked me how I am doing. I told him, and I honestly mean this, that I've been very happy lately. Life hasn't been perfect by any means, but I just have this confidence and this joy... yeah! This JOY that can't be explained by anything other than having found (or rather having BEEN FOUND by) Jesus. I was brought to tears by Josh Groban on Wednesday night and I was just kind of thinking... I have another friend who I think is always secretly trying to make me "see the light" and realize that there is no God... and he's a great person... but I was so tempted to tell him that what I felt on Wednesday about the music that was surrounding me and making me feel so amazing (and I know that he feels the same way about really really good music) is the way that I feel about Jesus... but times a million. It's impossible to put into words how I feel, as it so often is. I am frustrated by the lack of language that is available to me, but at the same time I know that there will never be any way to communicate exactly how I feel... and I guess that's ok. I am so amazed by God's love, even when I'm not being the best person that I can be. God is love, and I want so badly to be a reflection of that in my thoughts, actions, and relationships.

Tomorrow I'll be leading a group of first years around UBC for ImagineUBC. I'm feeling really excited, because it's a chance that I have to repay the MUG (My Undergraduate Group) system for getting me excited about UBC. I really hope that I can support and make these students feel comfrotable and help them to be not scared. And I hope that I will feel comfortable and be not scared. I think, however, that the extrovert that has been hidden inside me for so long for reasons that are too personal to share is finally feeling comfortable enough to start coming out. It's pretty exciting.

Big day tomorrow. I'm going to call the kids in my group and wish them a good night sleep / see if they have any other questions.

Zahida comes home on Sunday - I am really starting to miss her so I'm glad that I will get to see her soon!

- Sara