"I don't give a rip, Devil!"

I went to Hillsong Powerhouse on Friday and had a very interesting encounter that put me off for the rest of the weekend (until now). First off, I have been searching for a church since my arrival in Australia (ie, 4 Sunday ago now, can you believe it?), and not having a whole lot of luck. Anyway, I went to Hillsong with the YA group from Lighthouse Christian, and let me just start by saying that the YA group at Hillsong is about 2/3 the size of a Glimpse service at PPAC (read: BIG). Not surprising, given that Hillsong has like 15,000 attendees each week. Hmm!

Anyway, I was sitting there after a rousing rendition of Awesome God, listening to the speaker get into his topic for the evening (he did a nice job of summing up Romans in 15 minutes, actually!) and I suddenly felt... the PRESENCE. More powerfully than I have in a long time (and to be honest, it doesn't happen that often). I was super psyched, and then suddenly it was like God was like, "Sara, let Me in!" but there was something in the way. A barrier or something. SO I freaked out (internally, of course), and it really shocked / confused me, because I hadn't expected that.

So I spent the next day and a half thinking about that.... and wondering what the? I hadn't felt like I had been putting up barriers or being closed to God. Then I was looking at my attitude and the way I've been thinking these past weeks. "Well that's not they way we do it back at home," or "Hmmm that's kind of materialistic." Silly Sara. I have been so closed-minded that I haven't stopped to look at what's right in front of me.

Needless to say recognizing the problem is half the battle. I'm not 100% sure that I've got the case cracked, but for some reason, at tonight's service I felt like I got more (and gave more) than I have since arriving in Wollongong. Sometimes I have a lot of nerve to go assuming things and judging people. I'm just so thankful that I have a God who will laugh at me from the heavens and forgive His silly Sara... and then wrap me up in His love.

Thank You, Jesus.

Oh, the Interweb!

I finally have an internet hookup in my room, which is very exciting! It still costs money, so I will still have to adhere to my 'not blogging every waking moment of every day' rule, but I'm glad to have access when I need it for really important things. Like blogging... shoot.

Anyway, I realized something last night that I think is really important. I was talking to a friend earlier in the day and I learned some things that I wasn't exactly happy about. It put me off, and when I really got to thinking about it before I went to bed, it really started bothering me. I feel helpless over here, like I can't contribute to the situation being over in Australia. So I was sitting there, getting sad and a little bit angry, when I realized, well, when was I in control EVER? Did it make a difference? When, in Vancouver, did I have any say in the situation? Never, really. Despite my best efforts, there are some things that are and will remain to be completely out of my control or influence.

Instead of making me feel depressed, it was a great moment of clarity. It was humbling--IS humbling--to know that I'm not the one running things, and to know that at the end of the day, I found myself on my knees bowing before God, praying with more reverence than I have in a long time.

Oh hang on... there's a repairman in my room.....